Treat a broken heart, as much as we treat our physical wounds.
Selalunya, bila kita ada 'physical wound' or pain, contohnya a 'broken leg' (may Allah protect us), kita terus dapatkan rawatan di hospital. KIta ikut 'prescription' Dr, dan beri tempoh untuk kaki tu sembuh.
Orang sekeliling pun selalunya memahami. Bila nampak kawan/keluarga yang ada kecederaan fizikal, kita simpati. Beri mereka rehat, dan beri 'support' yang mampu kita beri.
Tapi, bila seseorang ada 'emotional wound', kebiasaannya orang kata...
"Come on, MOVE ON"
"Get over it"
Neglecting the fact that, emotional wound has the same impact as the physical wound. Kesakitan yang ditanggung individu yang mengalami emotional wound adalah sama dengan kesakitan fizikal, cuma kita tak nampak. Emotional wound affects the person. It can even lower the IQ of a person, and can gradually deteriorate physical well-being of the person.
But, unfortunately, usually, people don't treat their emotional wound.
People tell them to:
So that is what people with emotional wound often do.
Pretend to have moved on.
And simply fake things up.
Without realizing that --> Covering up emotional wound does not heal it. It ENHANCES it. It makes it worst.
It is like sweeping dust under a carpet. We simply don't want people to see the dust. But the dust is still there. The pain is still there. And we keep sweeping the dust under the carpet for years, and one day, the carpet can't cover it anymore or a person simply step on it. And 'boooommm' - comes out all the nasty, dirty dust that we kept for years! To the whole house!
A kind person can later be a 'monster' when she keeps suppressing her emotion. Trying to show to the world that she is strong. Secondary emotional effect ( I honestly don't know what you call it psychologically) will emerge - she was initially sad, and she kept suppressing it, and now she becomes angry.
And it will be bad. It will be bad on her. It will be bad to the people around her. If she is a mom, she will not have the capability to make her children happy, because she is not happy with herself.
So yeah, treat the emotional wound.
Search for tools to heal it.
And stay away from things that delay the healing process.
Yasmin shared 9 'things' that can delay healing process of a person. One of it is
Lack of self-compassion.
Beating ourselves up. We simply do not allow ourselves to feel what we are feeling. For example, when we feel sad, we don't like it. So we are mad that we are sad. Haha. It sounds complicated right? But that is what people usually do to themselves. They do not allow themselves to have certain feeling.
It is OK to feel sad. Feel it. Be genuine.
Only by being genuine and honest to ourselves, that can make us realized that we need help. And start the healing process.
And having ups and downs in life is part of our lives in this dunya.
"When Allah loves a people, He subjects them to trials.."
Anas narrated that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
"When Allah wants good for his slave, He hastens his punishment in the world. And when He wants bad for His slave, He withholds his sins from him until he appears before Him on the Day of Judgement."
And with this (same) chain, (it was reported) from the Prophet (ﷺ) who said: "Indeed greater reward comes with greater trial. And indeed, when Allah loves a people He subjects them to trials, so whoever is content, then for him is pleasure, and whoever is discontent, then for him is wrath."
Grade : Hasan (Darussalam)
Reference : Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2396
In-book reference : Book 36, Hadith 94
English translation : Vol. 4, Book 10, Hadith 2396
Face it and treat it.
Rely on Allah to help and heal.
Talk to our Lord. Cry. Be open. Prostrate to Him. Humble ourselves.
So when makcik bawang tells you, "Come on, move on. Be strong." Say to them, "Talk to my hand." Hahaha, gurau je. Simply ignore. And seek help from the right sources.
For Muslims, the basic three things to heal from emotional wound:
2. Adhkaar (remembrance of Allah morning and evening)
3. The Quran.
Look simple, but subhanAllah the effect is profound.
And stop sabotaging ourselves by doing things that can delay the healing process. Ni boleh dapatkan CD kat https://www.almaghrib.org/malaysia kot. I am not sure.
For anyone who is experiencing challenges in life... May Allah ease your heart. May Allah heal you and guide you to the best.
Please make du'a for me and my family too. And may Allah grant goodness to Yasmin Mogahed in this dunya and akhirah for spreading the knowledge Allah bestowed on her to the world.
Note: I wrote this in my personal FB, after attended the talk of Shattered Glass by Yasmin Mogahed, in Malaysia. I have also included my personal view on this matter.
You may purchase Yasmin's book here --> Reclaim Your Heart